i guess i ought to be grateful to have been blessed with a body. it works. i breathe. i think. i have a brain that can do better than i. if i had ever wanted to strive for anything i could have done it, im sure. but all i see is triviality. i think the only way to shake that is by making something real but i dont think im good enough.  and even then there is the futility of the human race, endlessly circling itself.  the life on this planet is interesting and maybe worth something but i find that more in the plants and the water than i do in us.  i think perhaps there is something in the spirits here. but what fools we are. we created a god who looks like us so we could feel divine. you are worshiping yourself. if there is a god they are not like you. there is no god in what we have created. i believe in something but not your god.